Food For Thought #1: How much is your life worth?
Think about it, look around you, life is magical, life is beautiful, and we only get one. We have a limited amount of time on Earth and I think it’s important to understand the value of it. We live in such a fast-paced world, we often forget to take a step back and reflect on our ultimate goals. I believe it’s important to take some time to identify what makes you happy, what gives you that feeling of fulfilment and being at peace with yourself. Imagine the last day of your life, looking backwards and being gnawed with regret. You’re blaming yourself for not stepping up and telling your high school crush about your feelings, not having spent enough time with your family, not going on this trip you’ve always dreamt of, not pursuing this personal project you value so much. Well, what about being proactive and making the most out of your time on this planet (or Mars if you’re Elon Musk)?
The recent Covid-19 outbreak has completely changed the world. It has led the global community to rethink the models we live by. In a brutal way, it reminded us that we shouldn’t take things for granted, that we need to better take care of our planet and our people. It made us realize how vulnerable we are and how crucial it is for us to stick together. The dramatic decrease of pollution observed all over the world during lockdown proved us we can still fix the environmental damage we’ve caused. The BLM movement and the fight for LGBTQ rights connected people from all around world, leaving very little space for hatred and intolerance. Of course, there’s still a lot to be done but scaling awareness about Climate Change and Human Rights is already a step in the right direction. Overall, 2020 was a GREAT year!! Nah, just kidding but still, the virus put the World on hold and gave us time to think. Let’s use it…
Over the past few months, we celebrated the human race and the beauty of its diversity. Every single life matters and it’s about time we acknowledge that. I believe we’re ALL capable of adding value to this world. However, we tend to focus a lot on others and it’s easy to lose motivation and grit when people around us are successful (or seem successful). Our perception very often isn’t accurate and some just make the assumption they’re less capable. Truth is, there is a spark inside each and every one of us and it’s our call to make something out of it.
On paper, we are all born equal, but in reality, our life is dramatically influenced by the environment we grow up in. For years, we have other human beings thinking for us, feeding us, basically making sure we stay alive… Until the age of eight, a child goes through the most rapid phase of growth and development. During that time, the brain develops faster than at any other point in their lives. It’s a crucial period as the child builds the foundations of its self-esteem, curiosity, social and cognitive skills (in case you’re struggling with the word, cognitive skills are the core skills your brain uses to think, read, learn, remember, reason, and pay attention). Young children watch others, retain the information and naturally mimic the behaviours observed. It’s called observational learning (Verywellmind). That’s why the environment and more importantly the people taking care of a child play a huge role in its development.
Growing up in Nairobi or Vancouver for example obviously isn’t the same. One isn’t better than the other, but both come with different implications. Depending on the country you grow up in and the family you live with, you’re exposed to a specific culture, you’re taught different values, you have different opportunities.
As you reach a certain level of maturity, you start to have critical thinking, you’re willing to question your own doings and beliefs, you understand the world is much more complex than you thought. As you go through adolescence, you usually have your first meaningful experiences, you try things out. Sometimes, it works out for the best, sometimes it doesn’t. You test your limits, you try to understand yourself better. It’s all part of the process. As you grow, you realize the endless opportunities this world has to offer. And well, this can be true for any kid who’s curious enough and willing to create opportunities for himself/ herself, regardless of the environment they grew up in.
Curiosity is a powerful tool that shapes our potential. I believe one’s potential isn’t fixed, but determined by the level of curiosity, and the willingness to do something with the newly acquired knowledge. As you increase your curiosity, you become more capable.
The more you expose yourself and step outside your comfort zone, the more you learn and get knowledgeable about the world. And well, that’s key to better understand yourself, what you’re passionate about and what you want to accomplish in life. The best thing is that most of the experiences where you challenge yourself a bit more often end up being the most pleasurable and memorable of your life. It makes total sense to be afraid of the unknown, but I believe it’s important to make that extra effort and push yourself. It’s so worth it, trust me!!
I can guarantee you that superstars like Beyonce or Rihanna (I’ll let you choose who’s the best, I’m not starting the debate here) are super stressed before a show. They’re human beings, they can’t predict if it’s going to go well. Anything can happen…They can suddenly lose their voice, they can fall from the stage, there can be an issue with their outfit and so on. There are many external factors they cannot control. However, most of the time, they still light the stage on fire because they step up, they DARE, they go for it. Of course, they train a lot, they have considerable experience, they prepare for the big event which considerably reduces the risk of an incident, but it still requires a lot of courage to step on stage and perform in front of dozens of thousand of people. I have personally never performed before that many people, but I can imagine that feeling must be amazing. That’s probably the moment when they feel most alive, as they connect with so many humans at the same time. That’s their reward.
We all start with a different set of resources, that’s not something we get to choose. Some people are born in families with great means, some grow up in very poor conditions. Life isn’t easy and life definitely isn’t fair. However, I believe we should be intentional about creating opportunities for ourselves and others.
Your starter pack for life has a big impact on who you are, but your vision, ambition and courage have a big impact on who you become.
Earlier this year, I learnt about Stoicism, an ancient Greek philosophy developed around 300 BC by Zeno which teaches the principles of self-control and fortitude as means of overcoming destructive emotions (Phylosphybasics.com). In case you’re wondering, fortitude means courage in pain or adversity. The Stoics often refer to the 4 main virtues of Greek philosophy which are Wisdom, Morality, Courage and Moderation.
Stoicism holds that the key to a happy life is the cultivation of an excellent mental state, which the Stoics identified with virtue and being rational. The ideal life is one that is in harmony with Nature, of which we are all part, and an attitude of calm indifference towards external events. — John Sellars (Lecturer in Philosophy, Royal Holloway)
In his article Want to be happy? Then live like a Stoic for a week (Sept 2018), John Sellars explains the two foundational principles of Stoicism. The first one states that some things are within our control while others are not, and much of our unhappiness is caused by thinking we can control certain events that, in fact, we can’t. Epictetus, a Greek Stoic philosopher, believed we control very little as we can’t control what people around us say or do. We can’t even fully control our own bodies, which can get sick or damaged without us being able to do anything. The only thing we can really control is how we think, our perception and judgement towards events. This leads us to Epictetus’ second principle: it’s not things that upset us, but how we think about things. Depending on how we perceive something, we trigger emotions that significantly affect our state of mind. If we judge something really bad has happened, we are likely to feel sad, scared, disappointed or upset. All these emotions are actually the consequence of the judgment we made. By choosing to perceive the situation in a certain way, we introduce value into the picture which influences our emotional responses.
Let’s be honest, life is tough sometimes. You can lose your job, go through a breakup, have heavy medical conditions. Many people also struggle to put food on the table or provide for their family. At our scale, we all have more or less significant problems and it’s completely normal to get emotionally affected. However, applying stoicism logic when something bad happens can help you feel at peace with yourself, be more efficient and enjoy your life more. If you’re intentional about not being too affected by the things you can’t control, accepting the situation while doing something about the elements in your control, you will dramatically increase your chances of being happy.
We have almost no control over anything, yet at the same time we have potentially complete control over our happiness. — Epictetus
YOUR life has more value than you think but it’s up to you to make the most out of it. Do stuff that you love, whether it’s in the short, mid or long term. Try things out, look for what you’re passionate about and GO for it. Take initiative, shape your own future. Find a balance between everything that’s important to you and put in the effort when necessary. Embrace what the universe gave you and stay positive. After all, happiness is also a choice.
